Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Screw You, Human Papilloma Virus

HPV is a stupid assface. Wanna know why? Because it can give you cancer. And cancer’s expensive. And requires needles and painful procedures. And can kill you. Basically, cancer sucks and by association HPV also sucks.

Props to the ladies out there that got infected with this stupid virus and dealt with having cancer. According to Planned Parenthood’s website, 1 in 4 women will get the cancer-causing version of HPV. In their honor, I’d like to remind you that there is currently no test, vaccination or treatment for men – only women. Which is odd, since I’m pretty sure these women were not infected with the virus from another woman. Also, the CDC states that “Most sexually active people in the United States (U.S.) will have HPV at some time in their lives.” Makes you say hrm…

In fact, the last time I was in the doctor’s office learning about HPV and how they were going to come far too close for comfort to my inner lady parts, a display on the wall actually stated that since the virus does really affect men, that there’s no need to develop a test for them. Um… can we say WTF? THEY SPREAD THE VIRUS TO WOMEN! Which makes me presume that if AIDS didn’t affect men, only KILLED women, would we even test them for it, much less develop a treatment?

I’d also like to point out that in no place under the “What are the health problems caused by HPV in men” does it mention that men can spread HPV to women, which can cause cancer, which can KILL them. Just saying.

Ladies, do not skip your annual exams and ask your doctor for a full STD test. Men, get your skanky penis checked so that you don’t kill someone (except for HPV, cause they can’t check you for that). And for god's sake everyone, use a fucking condom.

I hope you’re as infuriated as me. Tell everyone about it. More info at:
- CDC on men and HPV:
- CDC on HPV in general (meaning for women):
- Planned Parenthood on HPV and cervical cancer:


  1. Awesome subject, Ragan!
    I have had many things burned, frozen and scrapped b/c of this stupid HPV crapola. I was told that guys are Asymptomatic and "carriers" of this horrible virus... They don't know they are passing it around? Interesting! AND, once you've been diagnosed with HPV and have had "procedures" then you have to go back every 3 months until your exam is clear! Oh, and to top it off... 28 years old is too old to receive the vaccines for treatment. Not fair and Not fun... I'm on your side, if it were Aids, something would be done to prevent the outspread!

  2. So, I'm guessing you got the HPV vaccine right??