Footwear Faux Pas

Today I realized that I have made an egregious oversight in regards to the material covered on this blog. It’s simply unjustifiable that I created a blog and named it Pistol in Pumps as a dual reflection of my sassy attitude and my love for fabulous footwear, yet I’ve neglected to write at all about said fabulous footwear. Well, Missies, the buck stops here.

So you’re in luck. Today I happen to be clicking around in my very favorite pair of heels. They are the pride and joy of my extensive shoe collection.

These are a few of the reasons why I love them and refuse to allow anyone in the world to borrow them:

1. They are tall, very tall – upwards of 4 inches. Keep your judgments about my future physical pain to yourself. My 5’4 stature comes nowhere close to matching my 5’11 attitude, so I enlist a little help.
2. My idol, Gwen Stefani, made them for me with her very own hands. That might be an exaggeration, but they part of her L.A.M.B. line and I feel like they were made just for me.
3. They were a gift from my mom and pretty much claim the title of the Best Gift I’ve Ever Received.
4. They are the most expensive of my collection, see item #2 (I hope that someday the pair of black patent peep toe Louboutins will claim this title, but for now I appreciate what I have).
5. They go with everything.
6. My feet are super narrow (unlike my hips) and for whatever reason (probably that high price tags correspond with narrow insteps) these are perfect. For this reason, no, you may never borrow my fabulous pair of L.A.M.B.s and you will undergo a width test for any other pair. You have been warned.

Regarding item #4, please don’t feel discouraged from donating to the Ragan Loves Louboutin Fund. All forms of payment are accepted.